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“So, should I give them money?” That’s between you and God. Here is the reality...they are going to buy drugs with it...
Life out there is cruel, brutal, hard, demoralizing, and dirty. It's like the dirt becomes a part of your skin. The streets seep into hair, skin and nails.
From the arrest, to the booking, to the incarceration...the court appearances...even the release from jail...all of it was a nightmare. The moment local police spotted me, it was inevitable, I knew I was going to jail.
I was pumped full of Librium, which ensured I was sedated. It would put me in a coma . . . ‘just what the doctor ordered’. Most of my time in jail was 3-5 days at a time. I would be arrested, three days later I would have an arraignment, and was usually released that night.
It was in jail cells that I started to experience sobriety and humanity. In February of 2018, during one of my incarcerations, everything changed for me.
It wasn’t what Sophia wanted from me, it was what she wanted FOR me!! For the very first time in my life I experienced the “Love of The Father” through the love of Sophia.
Jail sucks. It's supposed to. It forced sobriety on me. It took me out of the cement jungle and forced me to clean up little by little. It was in a jail cell where I had my “coming to Jesus moment”. It was in a jail cell where I started to get “free”.
I didn’t just wake up one random morning and say to myself “today is a good day to be a homeless drug addict.”
I constantly felt bugs, strings, “things” all over me and in me.
My daily routine would consist of illegal activities. Mainly theft, squatting (an unlawful occupying of an uninhabited building), drug addiction, and being homeless.
People stare, make obscene rude comments, and even target us for whatever the current trend… beatings, throwing food, prostitution or just harassment.
I was a bottom dwelling parasite on humanity. And I was not the only one. In my opinion, one of the most crippling character traits of any drug addict- not just the homeless ones- is the horrible sense of entitlement (the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment.)
In the Riverbed there are no limits . . no boundaries . . no laws . . . and no one is coming to the rescue. No one responds to the screams.
I was in active addiction for nearly twenty years before I became homeless. The truth is that my fall into homelessness was quite liberating.
There is a nightmare dimension where underground cages actually exist. I have seen with my own eyes . . . cages under the ground made up of bamboo sticks. Human beings digging dwellings deep into the earth like moles.